Now blogging at allirogers.com

From here on out I will be blogging from my allirogers.com site rather than this one. Please make a note if you have an RSS feed or follow this blog.

I know I've been out of it this year so if you're reading this, THANK YOU for sticking with me!


This has been a crazy year for me and I'm starting to feel somewhat normal again so I'm hoping to blog more than 3 times in 2013 ;)

Surrender...again.

It is such a year of learning I really do not know where to begin. The kind of year you can’t turn back, the kind of change you can’t undo. So I move forward with prayers of “Oh Lord...I need You”. The curtain has been pulled on my lesser gods and any false sense of security I had has been shattered. I feel smaller and more humbled than I ever have and yet, more confident in who I am. 

It is such a year of pruning that I do not know what will be left when we reach the end. 

I desire an outward change to display the inward swelling tides but nothing seems safe from vanity or pride so I wear the same shoes and comb my hair in the same way. 

I have less to prove and I pray that tomorrow there is even less until it is nothing. Nothing to boast, save the Grace I have in Jesus. 

Surrender is where child like faith and wisdom work together. It can not be forced or driven by guilt and that is where every knot in my stomach was tied. Surrender daily...I am learning. I do not expect a certain outcome nor do I feel entitled to anything. 

So when the page is turned over at the end of this long year...when the calendar resets and my heart says...again...surrender...again. 

I will. 

For the Lord has been good to me.  

On Moving to Portland 2

We moved to Portland in the middle of winter. In the middle of the rainy season that we quickly realized was not just a myth, it really does rain here like...all. the. time. But I don’t mind. I didn’t mind the long days in february watching the drops of water form patterns on the windows as I cuddled up with my kids and drank coffee. Lots of coffee. My friend here says the rain is why coffee is so popular in Portland, she calls it liquid sunshine. 

Those first weeks were tiresome. I would miss my exit on the interstate and find myself heading the wrong direction with crying children in the backseat. I found out the hard way what roads to avoid during rush hour and which lanes downtown are for buses, bikes, or trains, and NOT for cars. I auditioned different grocery stores and attempted to memorize where every green space is on the city map. It will take me years to know Portland the way I know Nashville. Learning a city as an eager 18 year old is much different than learning a city as a mother of two. But we are getting along just fine, Portland and I. 

I was reminded recently by a pastor that dead things do not change, but living things always do. 

If I hold too tightly to a living thing it will wiggle right out of my hands and find an open space to grow more freely. But if I hold it with an open hand I will get to watch it bloom and flourish right in front of my eyes. My children are an obvious example of this and I am constantly learning how to hold them and protect them without inhibiting their changing and blossoming selves. 

And I am grateful for my own changing. For the tilling of the soil, the pruning of the branches to make room for more growth. It must only mean that we are alive. Praise God from whom all blessings flow... 

On Moving to Portland

I have moved from Nashville to Portland, Oregon. I have been trying to find the right words to explain to you, reader, what this move has been like for me. And I realize that I am still processing much of the change, and the words may come more fully later.

Let me just assure you that we have moved out here to follow Jesus. We have moved out here to chase after so many dreams we have for our family. We have moved out here because when one is on the banks of a river, a river you know has your name on it, and the waters suddenly rise, and the current starts to pull you along with it...you have no choice but to let it take you.

Our river has taken us miles away from friends and family, from most everything we know, to a season of newness. Funny that I wrote the song “Springtime” last year, asking God for the new. I just didn’t know how exactly he was going to answer that prayer. New is not always easy. It is exciting and wonderful and full of God’s peace. But not easy.

When my daughter was born, just a few weeks before all of this became apparent, I started writing a song about change. The inevitability of change in this life. And how if I do not bend with it, it will surly break me. Little did I know an even bigger change was around the corner. I’m thankful God was already preparing my heart.

I will try to tell more of the story in the coming months. Will I continue to play music? Yes! The good news is that Portland has a host of rainy days, perfect for sitting at a piano pondering a lyric and a melody. :)

My Birth Playlist

When I went into labor in November, I asked my husband to bring me my computer because I needed some music. I needed songs whose lyrics could encourage me and connect with my heart. This playlist was in my itunes and it seemed to fit the bill. These are the songs that were on repeat for those several hours before and right after Norah was born. It turned out to be the perfect mix of songs of surrender, strength, and purpose. Thank you to you whose music is on here, your songs gave me courage!

Tell Me Again- Michael Olson and Sara Groves

Hallelujahs- Chris Rice

Leave It Up To You- Jill Phillips

Dig Deep- Elizabeth Foster (this was a crucial song for me, thank you Elizabeth!)

Love Will Always Find It’s Way- Pierce Pettis

Conversations-Sara Groves

Hymn- Brooke Fraser

Hallelujah-Bethany Dillon

Remember Surrender-Sara Groves

You Move Me- Pierce Pettis

I Am-Jill Phillips

Done Living- Justin McRoberts

Your Hands- JJ Heller

Seeds- Brooke Fraser

Great Big World-Pierce Pettis

Undone-Sara Groves

Rock of Ages (When the Day Seems Long)- Sandra McCracken

You Cannot Lose My Love- Sara Groves

Everything- Jill Phillips