I don't know anything about this organization, but I had to share this video once I saw it. I don't know how you can ignore this.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
To Be Heard
I am a struggling believer. always. I look at those Christians who so vibrantly speak about the truth, and their energy inspires me. But I constantly lack the courage to follow them.
“Alli, Your song is on the radio charts!”
“Alli, you’re going to be on tour this fall with ____!”
“Alli, your song is going to be on so and so’s new record!”
That’s great, is what I’m thinking. I’ll believe it when I hear it myself, I’ll believe it when I’m on the bus, I’ll believe it when I get there. I can’t believe it now, too often it doesn’t happen and I can’t bear the small disappointments with the already heavy heart I carry around.
God! Why do you ask us to believe and not doubt when so often the things we are believing for fall apart?
Oh, I am heartily weary at living at a distance from thee. But I am too scared to get closer for fear that you will not come through. I have seen too many hopes turn to disillusions, too many prayers go unanswered. And I know you have your reasons. I know. You must have reasons.
But how can you ask me to live like I believe everything I pray for? You know that much of the time the flood waters rise anyway. So why should I believe that you will keep us dry?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” James 1:5-8
a wave.
It does not say that we shouldn’t doubt because everything we ask will be given to us. It says we shouldn’t doubt because when we doubt we are like a wave on the sea. Tossed back and forth by the wind.
Is God more concerned with my strength than my happiness? More concerned with the stance of my heart and mind than with whether or not I receive what I ask?
When James cries I know he wants me to pick him up. That almost always solves the problem. And I LOVE holding him. But he will never learn to fall asleep on his own if I pick him up every time he fusses. He will never figure out how to reach out and grab a toy if I always put it in his hand for him. I am somehow loving him better by letting him fight for it. Even though all I want to do is satisfy his every need completely. The world he lives in will not be kind to a boy who gets everything he wants.
and yet...
I want him to believe that when he cries I will comfort him. I want him to know I hear him crying. I always hear him crying. I would know that cry anywhere.
“Alli, Your song is on the radio charts!”
“Alli, you’re going to be on tour this fall with ____!”
“Alli, your song is going to be on so and so’s new record!”
That’s great, is what I’m thinking. I’ll believe it when I hear it myself, I’ll believe it when I’m on the bus, I’ll believe it when I get there. I can’t believe it now, too often it doesn’t happen and I can’t bear the small disappointments with the already heavy heart I carry around.
God! Why do you ask us to believe and not doubt when so often the things we are believing for fall apart?
Oh, I am heartily weary at living at a distance from thee. But I am too scared to get closer for fear that you will not come through. I have seen too many hopes turn to disillusions, too many prayers go unanswered. And I know you have your reasons. I know. You must have reasons.
But how can you ask me to live like I believe everything I pray for? You know that much of the time the flood waters rise anyway. So why should I believe that you will keep us dry?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” James 1:5-8
a wave.
It does not say that we shouldn’t doubt because everything we ask will be given to us. It says we shouldn’t doubt because when we doubt we are like a wave on the sea. Tossed back and forth by the wind.
Is God more concerned with my strength than my happiness? More concerned with the stance of my heart and mind than with whether or not I receive what I ask?
When James cries I know he wants me to pick him up. That almost always solves the problem. And I LOVE holding him. But he will never learn to fall asleep on his own if I pick him up every time he fusses. He will never figure out how to reach out and grab a toy if I always put it in his hand for him. I am somehow loving him better by letting him fight for it. Even though all I want to do is satisfy his every need completely. The world he lives in will not be kind to a boy who gets everything he wants.
and yet...
I want him to believe that when he cries I will comfort him. I want him to know I hear him crying. I always hear him crying. I would know that cry anywhere.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
On why I’m tired of hearing about Jon and Kate.
Someone please tell me why our local news is covering this years most popular halloween prop, the Kate Gosselin wig.
Could it be because halloween is just around the corner and they wanted to cover something fun and festive? No, it’s August, people. August.
I have a problem with America’s fascination with celebrity.
When someone steps out into the spotlight they need to expect the crowds to turn and watch. The problem is that the American public is obsessed with what happens to those people when the lights are turned off. What they do when the camera crew has the day off. And yes, celebrities need to expect this as well, but that does not mean that is the way it should be.
I suppose I’m bringing this up because I am surprised at how accepted it is to treat famous people like they were never kids who had to be potty trained as toddlers, or teenagers who popped zits in front of the mirror, or aren’t adults who get insecure at social functions and spill coffee on their shirts.
I think we are the ones that need to (and have the power) to change things.
Every time I watch the news when they are covering the divorce of two people I have never met and whose hearts I know nothing about, I am encouraging that news channel to keep broadcasting about that sort of thing.
Every time I buy a People Magazine I am supporting the paparazzi, who take any sense of normalcy away from celebrities. And don’t tell me Kate Gosselin had it coming when she signed her family up for her reality show, while that might have been a poor decision, she shouldn’t have to deal with seeing pictures of her ex-husband and his new girlfriend at the grocery store.
Other celebrites such as musicians and actors are just people who had a talent and an interest in the arts. Must privacy always be the price they pay? I guarantee we are missing out on some great talents because they avoid fame for this reason.
Do you really wonder why child stars rarely get to their 20’s without some sort of mental breakdown? Isn’t it obvious? We, the magazine readers, entertainment news watchers, gossip blog subscribers, are the ones who drive this industry to treat celebrities in a way that causes many of them to lose it a little. Life is hard enough without someone hiding behind the bushes to take a picture of you in your bathing suit.
So come on, join me in my protest! Dress up as Pippy Longstockings this year for Halloween! Buy some M&M’s at the checkout to distract you from the gossip magazines. In order to change things, we have to treat it as if it is none of our business, because it isn’t.
Sorry for the soapbox folks. One can only stay silent so long :)
Could it be because halloween is just around the corner and they wanted to cover something fun and festive? No, it’s August, people. August.
I have a problem with America’s fascination with celebrity.
When someone steps out into the spotlight they need to expect the crowds to turn and watch. The problem is that the American public is obsessed with what happens to those people when the lights are turned off. What they do when the camera crew has the day off. And yes, celebrities need to expect this as well, but that does not mean that is the way it should be.
I suppose I’m bringing this up because I am surprised at how accepted it is to treat famous people like they were never kids who had to be potty trained as toddlers, or teenagers who popped zits in front of the mirror, or aren’t adults who get insecure at social functions and spill coffee on their shirts.
I think we are the ones that need to (and have the power) to change things.
Every time I watch the news when they are covering the divorce of two people I have never met and whose hearts I know nothing about, I am encouraging that news channel to keep broadcasting about that sort of thing.
Every time I buy a People Magazine I am supporting the paparazzi, who take any sense of normalcy away from celebrities. And don’t tell me Kate Gosselin had it coming when she signed her family up for her reality show, while that might have been a poor decision, she shouldn’t have to deal with seeing pictures of her ex-husband and his new girlfriend at the grocery store.
Other celebrites such as musicians and actors are just people who had a talent and an interest in the arts. Must privacy always be the price they pay? I guarantee we are missing out on some great talents because they avoid fame for this reason.
Do you really wonder why child stars rarely get to their 20’s without some sort of mental breakdown? Isn’t it obvious? We, the magazine readers, entertainment news watchers, gossip blog subscribers, are the ones who drive this industry to treat celebrities in a way that causes many of them to lose it a little. Life is hard enough without someone hiding behind the bushes to take a picture of you in your bathing suit.
So come on, join me in my protest! Dress up as Pippy Longstockings this year for Halloween! Buy some M&M’s at the checkout to distract you from the gossip magazines. In order to change things, we have to treat it as if it is none of our business, because it isn’t.
Sorry for the soapbox folks. One can only stay silent so long :)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday. It's Tuesday isn't it?
Sometimes, when James goes down for a nap I hear a voice in my head. That voice is the voice of Padama from Top Chef saying “Okay, your hour starts... NOW!”.
And I fumble out of his bedroom and look frantically around the house to find the most pressing thing that needs to be done. More often than not this results in my getting nothing done because I’m so overwhelmed by how much there is to get done. It is not a way to live.
So right now, instead of working on the songs I should be working on, or cleaning my house for the dinner party we’re having tonight, or making a video for the new website, or packing the diaper bag so that when James does wake up I will be ready to go out the door to get an allergy shot, or go to the pet store to get Oso some food because he hasn’t eaten since his half breakfast yesterday when we ran out, instead of those things, I am sitting at my computer writing run on sentences.
Good Morning.
And I fumble out of his bedroom and look frantically around the house to find the most pressing thing that needs to be done. More often than not this results in my getting nothing done because I’m so overwhelmed by how much there is to get done. It is not a way to live.
So right now, instead of working on the songs I should be working on, or cleaning my house for the dinner party we’re having tonight, or making a video for the new website, or packing the diaper bag so that when James does wake up I will be ready to go out the door to get an allergy shot, or go to the pet store to get Oso some food because he hasn’t eaten since his half breakfast yesterday when we ran out, instead of those things, I am sitting at my computer writing run on sentences.
Good Morning.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday Morning Brain...
It turns out if you drink coffee right after you brush you teeth it tastes like Christmas. It also turns out Nashville is having a bout of beautiful weather in July and lifting everyones spirits. Delightful.
You'll have to forgive me... this morning my brain is about 50 different places and this post might have zero relevance to anyone. But I'll tell you what I'm thinking anyhow.
I’m thinking about the new bible study I just finished with some friends on the book of Ruth, and about how much Ruth would have missed out on had she not gone with her mother-in-law to a foreign land after her husband died. She could have stayed. I’m thinking about how my life would be different had I stayed in Iowa when I had the chance. Did I have the chance?
The other day during a cowrite with my friends Jeff and Charmaine, we got into a theological discussion about pre-destination and abortion and all sorts of hot topics that somehow helped us finish a song about faith and believing through our unbelief. Is it worth asking how and what if and why? Because it generallydoesn’t get me anywhere other than another hour of pondering that I could have been “working” on something. But in fact I do believe pondering time is productive time. For me anyway, according to my Strength Finder test. And it appears that is what I’m doing right now in these 20 minutes I have left before James wakes up.
I read an article this morning about how children are not in touch with nature like they used to be, which got me thinking about all the things there are to be afraid of because I will be scared to let my son wonder off into the woods too, even though I know it’s good for him. Who knows what or who is out in the woods these days? Where is the line between trusting God and being responsible?
Yesterday on NPR’s Splendid Table I listened to an interview with Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivores Dilemma. It was a short but interesting discussion on the organic and local food movement. Got me thinking about how to best spend my money. Do I spend money (that I don’t have) on good quality food I know is better for my family, or is it more responsible for me to buy more affordable, albeit processed, food?
And now... James is awake, which leads me to thinking of a whole other river of baby thoughts. Like, why does sesame street have the monopoly on disposable diaper art?
All of this and more....fuel for songwriting, I tell you. It better be anyway, since it’s all I have right now. :)
You'll have to forgive me... this morning my brain is about 50 different places and this post might have zero relevance to anyone. But I'll tell you what I'm thinking anyhow.
I’m thinking about the new bible study I just finished with some friends on the book of Ruth, and about how much Ruth would have missed out on had she not gone with her mother-in-law to a foreign land after her husband died. She could have stayed. I’m thinking about how my life would be different had I stayed in Iowa when I had the chance. Did I have the chance?
The other day during a cowrite with my friends Jeff and Charmaine, we got into a theological discussion about pre-destination and abortion and all sorts of hot topics that somehow helped us finish a song about faith and believing through our unbelief. Is it worth asking how and what if and why? Because it generallydoesn’t get me anywhere other than another hour of pondering that I could have been “working” on something. But in fact I do believe pondering time is productive time. For me anyway, according to my Strength Finder test. And it appears that is what I’m doing right now in these 20 minutes I have left before James wakes up.
I read an article this morning about how children are not in touch with nature like they used to be, which got me thinking about all the things there are to be afraid of because I will be scared to let my son wonder off into the woods too, even though I know it’s good for him. Who knows what or who is out in the woods these days? Where is the line between trusting God and being responsible?
Yesterday on NPR’s Splendid Table I listened to an interview with Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivores Dilemma. It was a short but interesting discussion on the organic and local food movement. Got me thinking about how to best spend my money. Do I spend money (that I don’t have) on good quality food I know is better for my family, or is it more responsible for me to buy more affordable, albeit processed, food?
And now... James is awake, which leads me to thinking of a whole other river of baby thoughts. Like, why does sesame street have the monopoly on disposable diaper art?
All of this and more....fuel for songwriting, I tell you. It better be anyway, since it’s all I have right now. :)
Friday, July 17, 2009
International Justice Day
Thanks to my friends, Addison Road, I was made aware that today is International Justice Day. Check out this video made by a great organization called the Mocha Club,
some convicting words from Jesus on Justice:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel
-Matthew 23:23-24
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
-Luke 18:7-8
some convicting words from Jesus on Justice:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel
-Matthew 23:23-24
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
-Luke 18:7-8
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
May It Be Springtime
I have never felt such abundance and such deficeincy simultaneously.
I awake early to James fussing through the monitor. I lean over to see that my phone says 6:28 am. I wait. He is not crying, just fussing. I close my eyes and almost drift back off to sleep. “Ah!” he exclaims in his “I’m awake, come get me!” voice. I smile with my eyes still closed, imagining his little arms trying to wiggle out of his swaddle. “Ah!” he says, louder. Okay...sigh... I’m coming.
When I open the door to his room, he immediatly stops fussing and smiles. Oh, his smile. I am ruined.
This too shall pass. Not only the hard parts, but the sweetness of these early weeks with James. Soon he won’t want to be held so much, he won’t be so easily soothed by my picking him up and holding him to me. Soon, he’ll be moving around, finding his own little way in the world, and I will think of these days when he was so content just to be in my arms.
After he’s done eating, he just stares up at me with those bright blue eyes and we study each others faces. With sounds and smiles, we have a conversation. Sometimes I think James is the closest I will ever get to God. I’m convinced of it, actually.
Oh James, I have never seen the hours of the night like I have with you. 2 am...4 am...6 am. I have never been a morning person, but sometimes I look forward to hearing that first exclamation out of your mouth when you see the sun coming through your window. Such exhaustion. Such abundance. Every day is a new gift, I’m more and more aware of that truth.
Excerpts are from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. From the evening of April 24th, the night James was born.
I awake early to James fussing through the monitor. I lean over to see that my phone says 6:28 am. I wait. He is not crying, just fussing. I close my eyes and almost drift back off to sleep. “Ah!” he exclaims in his “I’m awake, come get me!” voice. I smile with my eyes still closed, imagining his little arms trying to wiggle out of his swaddle. “Ah!” he says, louder. Okay...sigh... I’m coming.
Sweet is the season of spring: the long and dreary winter helps us to appreciate its genial warmth, and its promise of summer enhances its present delights.
When I open the door to his room, he immediatly stops fussing and smiles. Oh, his smile. I am ruined.
If we do not hoist the sail when the breeze is favourable, we shall be blameworthy: times of refreshing ought not to pass over us unimproved.
This too shall pass. Not only the hard parts, but the sweetness of these early weeks with James. Soon he won’t want to be held so much, he won’t be so easily soothed by my picking him up and holding him to me. Soon, he’ll be moving around, finding his own little way in the world, and I will think of these days when he was so content just to be in my arms.
When Jesus Himself visits us in tenderness, and entreats us to arise, can we be so base as to refuse His request? He Himself has risen that He may draw us after Him: He now by His Holy Spirit has revived us, that we may, in newness of life, ascend into the heavenlies, and hold communion with Himself.
After he’s done eating, he just stares up at me with those bright blue eyes and we study each others faces. With sounds and smiles, we have a conversation. Sometimes I think James is the closest I will ever get to God. I’m convinced of it, actually.
Land That drinks in the rain often falling on it and produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God.
Hebrews 6:7
Oh James, I have never seen the hours of the night like I have with you. 2 am...4 am...6 am. I have never been a morning person, but sometimes I look forward to hearing that first exclamation out of your mouth when you see the sun coming through your window. Such exhaustion. Such abundance. Every day is a new gift, I’m more and more aware of that truth.
Let our wintry state suffice us for coldness and indifference; when the Lord creates a spring within, let our sap flow with vigour, and our branch blossom with high resolve. O Lord, if it be not spring time in my chilly heart, I pray Thee make it so, for I am heartily weary of living at a distance from Thee.
Excerpts are from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. From the evening of April 24th, the night James was born.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
