On Moving to Portland

I have moved from Nashville to Portland, Oregon. I have been trying to find the right words to explain to you, reader, what this move has been like for me. And I realize that I am still processing much of the change, and the words may come more fully later.

Let me just assure you that we have moved out here to follow Jesus. We have moved out here to chase after so many dreams we have for our family. We have moved out here because when one is on the banks of a river, a river you know has your name on it, and the waters suddenly rise, and the current starts to pull you along with it...you have no choice but to let it take you.

Our river has taken us miles away from friends and family, from most everything we know, to a season of newness. Funny that I wrote the song “Springtime” last year, asking God for the new. I just didn’t know how exactly he was going to answer that prayer. New is not always easy. It is exciting and wonderful and full of God’s peace. But not easy.

When my daughter was born, just a few weeks before all of this became apparent, I started writing a song about change. The inevitability of change in this life. And how if I do not bend with it, it will surly break me. Little did I know an even bigger change was around the corner. I’m thankful God was already preparing my heart.

I will try to tell more of the story in the coming months. Will I continue to play music? Yes! The good news is that Portland has a host of rainy days, perfect for sitting at a piano pondering a lyric and a melody. :)

My Birth Playlist

When I went into labor in November, I asked my husband to bring me my computer because I needed some music. I needed songs whose lyrics could encourage me and connect with my heart. This playlist was in my itunes and it seemed to fit the bill. These are the songs that were on repeat for those several hours before and right after Norah was born. It turned out to be the perfect mix of songs of surrender, strength, and purpose. Thank you to you whose music is on here, your songs gave me courage!

Tell Me Again- Michael Olson and Sara Groves

Hallelujahs- Chris Rice

Leave It Up To You- Jill Phillips

Dig Deep- Elizabeth Foster (this was a crucial song for me, thank you Elizabeth!)

Love Will Always Find It’s Way- Pierce Pettis

Conversations-Sara Groves

Hymn- Brooke Fraser

Hallelujah-Bethany Dillon

Remember Surrender-Sara Groves

You Move Me- Pierce Pettis

I Am-Jill Phillips

Done Living- Justin McRoberts

Your Hands- JJ Heller

Seeds- Brooke Fraser

Great Big World-Pierce Pettis

Undone-Sara Groves

Rock of Ages (When the Day Seems Long)- Sandra McCracken

You Cannot Lose My Love- Sara Groves

Everything- Jill Phillips

For those who walk the races

This year has been a tiring one, full of many changes here at the end. I am grateful for, as I’ve said in previous posts, this full time dependence on a strength outside of myself. It is good to be here. It’s also good to know that God is okay with my moving slowly. My taking it one day, one hour at a time. I can find several scriptures that tell me this, but my favorite is this one.

Isaiah 40:31

those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Notice the acknowledgment in this verse that even walking can result in faintness. There is a lot more walking than running in my life these days. I am the one who is not in the race to win, I am just in to finish. And that doesn’t mean that my expereince is any less rich, it might even mean the opposite.

While watching the Ironman race recently the stories that kept me on the edge of my seat were not the record setters, but the last place finishers. The 75 year old man, the woman who recently lost 100 lbs, the cancer surviver.

So for those of you at the end of the pack with me today, walking and not running, for whatever reason, we can soar on wings like eagles too.

Christmas with a newborn

This is an exceptional Christmas season for me. I gave birth to my daughter the day before December began and have spent the last couple weeks recovering and getting to know these new hands and this new face. Norah and I are figuring things out as best as we can. Achieving small milestones one day at a time. Getting out of bed in the morning (and in the middle of the night because she has yet to know the difference), remembering to eat meals and feed my family, changing diapers and cleaning spit up, getting rid of jaundice... small victories make up my days.

There have been no Christmas parties for me this December, no visits to the mall to see the window decorations, no shopping apart from a couple grocery store visits. I have yet to listen to the station on the radio which plays non-stop Christmas music, something I normally indulge in. I am a sucker for sentimentality, but this year... every small taste I have had of what the culture deems “Christmasy” has left me thirsty. This year... it is all about this baby.

Jesus came to earth as a baby. A crying, pooping, breastfeeding, spitting up baby. He was fully human which means the creator of the sun and the moon came to the earth in a body which at first breath knew no difference between night and day.

This Christmas eve night and in the dark early hours of December 25th, I will be up, holding and nursing and caring for a newborn baby.

And this will be my celebration of the incarnation. This is my worship. Perhaps God is opening the veil for me a little bit more this year...perhaps I will get to experience Christmas in a new way.

I have much to be thankful for.

New Kids Record!

Well if you haven’t heard my big news (besides the birth of our daughter) let me fill you in. I have a new record available today! I have joined forces with Andrew Simple who has produced several Rockabye Baby! Albums, (although you might be more familiar with his songs you've probably heard in Best Buy, Travelers Insurance, and Pillsbury commercials) and we are releasing a kids record of all original songs under the name Alli and Andrew!

We also have 2 videos up on youtube and one more that should be up by the end of the week! The first is this video of the song H-E-L-P featured on the album,

(click on this link to watch this full screen)

And we also have this Justin Bieber parody video we did for your comical enjoyment...

(click here to watch this full screen)

If you have kids, have friends or family with kids, or are going to be in the car with kids driving to grandma's house this Christmas then this is the perfect record for you!

I am so grateful for your continued support of my music and hope you enjoy this new side of me in this season. I hope the little ones in your life enjoy listening and dancing to Alli and Andrew as much as we enjoyed creating it!

A Daughter

I have a daughter. This makes me cry just saying it in these first days. A sweet, squirmy, yawning, crying in a high pitched sound that her brother has never in his life made, little girl. Norah Lynn was born in the early hours of November 30th, last wednesday. We had a home birth this time around and that deserves a blog all it’s own for the gift it was to us. We put James to bed tuesday night and when he awoke in the morning, there was a new sister to meet. What a miracle!

I am still searching for the right words and ways to say things so for now I will just let it be known that she is here, that all is well, and that God has been so gracious to us to give us such a beautiful baby in such a beautiful way. Over and over in these past few days my heart has exclaimed, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior...” (Luke 1:46-47)

Thank you for your prayers and words of congratulations, we feel very loved and surrounded in this season, another enormous gift.

Story behind the song - Springtime

I am at the end. Of pregnancy that is.

I am in my final few weeks of carrying this child and the song on my lips is “I need thee every hour....” as it was in the beginning of pregnancy, it is now and will continue to be, well, every hour.

I wrote the song Springtime last winter about this and it is on my new EP.

When I was early pregnant with James who is now 2 1/2, I found myself crying in church to the above mentioned hymn. I was about to embark on a tour (with lots of doggy bags in hand) and I was not feeling up to the challenge of pregnancy let alone becoming a mother.

Oh how good it has been for me in this season of child rearing to be desperate. To be dependent on God, because for so long I felt like I was coasting. Like a song from my very first record says, “when I’m away from my source of peace...something fills that space in me...and it feels like I don’t need you.”

I was so tired of feeling self sufficient. It really only led to being disgusted with my own pride and greed. (which of course led me to my... yep... need.)

So I felt it three years ago and Lord knows I feel it today. I need thee every hour.

I have loved the book Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. It’s a years worth of short devotional readings for every day. The reading from the day James was born spoke like it was God himself talking to me, and I think He might have been. The sentence that stuck with me the most was this:

O Lord, if it be not spring time in my chilly heart, I pray Thee make it so, for I am heartily weary of living at a distance from Thee.

I have not let go of this phrase and even wrote a blog about it at the time. God has been so good to allow me to thirst for Him in these ways. How easy it is (in our culture especially) to be content with gatorade when we’ve been offered living water.

So I am thanking God for the end of this pregnancy. If you ask me how I am doing, does my back hurt? Am I sleeping okay? Am I ready to have another one? I will have a hard time giving you a smiley happy answer. But know that I am thankful, know that it is very good to need Thee every hour.