Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thoughts from a plane

There are too many smells on an airplane for a pregnant women. My hands are cold and I’ve got my eye on the closest doggie bag, just incase. Traveling has become the hardest part of my job. I’m rubbing my eyes, grateful that I did not wear mascara today.

The flight attendant is short with me when I ask for a ginger ale and I lean to Kirk and ask if I look funny, is something wrong with me? No, but you look ticked, he says. Oh. The fingers of your thoughts are molding your face ceaselessly, I think. It’s a quote I read somewhere and am aware that it is quite true of me.

I sigh and wish it was winter already. That would mean I would be good and pregnant and well over this first trimester. That would mean the holidays would be up and running, bringing pumpkin pie and peppermint with them. Winter would mean I would have socks on and a thicker jacket which would keep me warm on this cold plane full of overwhelming smells.

I clearly smell fresh hairspray and do not know who would spray hairspray in a plane. A babies dirty diaper, a mans cologne, brewing coffee, and a package of chips ahoy cookies someone is eating.

And hairspray.

They are turning the overhead lights off, revealing the time change we are crossing and turning my eyes to the pink and blue sky outside. This slows my breathing some. Kirk looks over at me and smiles. I smile back for maybe the first time in an hour and instantly feel better.

The mother daughter duo across the isle has finally ended their movie that they had watched on their portable DVD player without headphones and the volume on full blast so we all heard the music of what I gathered to be some dancing movie. finally I can hear my own music without the thump of a bass drum in the background.

The coffee is now the only thing I’m smelling and I realize that my shoulders have been tensed up for awhile so I try to loosen them up a bit. We are almost to our descent, the captain says.

Planes, trains, and automobiles, I think. Is that what my life has come down to? No, it has not, says a voice in my head. You are being dramatic, it says. And this was really a fine flight, just fine. We even got a row to ourselves with a seat to spare so I actually took a nap at the beginning of the flight.

Oh, life is good. Beautiful in fact. These people with their dancing movies and their hairspray are beautiful. A few rows up a camera flashes a picture of a baby and I hear it laughing with it’s mother. By now it is dark outside and the lights of the city are lining up on the ground below us as we descend. Breath deep, I tell myself, you are almost home. And oh, it was a good flight, I think. Very good.


Dave said...

what a great honest post. love it. i used to unwrap gum and smell the paper when I couldn't handle a smell while pregnant :) crazy, i know. but saved the poor mans shirt in front of me from experiencing my morning breakfast :-) Thinking of you and baby lots!! Jess

Jennifer said...

You made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

I am glad you made the flight ok! :)
I was wondering if you have heard of the band Ineloquent? I just recently learned of them (they are coming to Dubuque next week). Anyway, when I listened to thier stuff, I thoughyt of you and wondered if you'd like it... Youcan find them on MySpace.
I don't know if I took the opportunity to tell you two "congratulations" yet! We are very happy for you! The boys think it is kind of cool that they will be the big kids to all these little ones. :) Love, Lisa

Nelson Prater said...

You're funny. I can't imagine anyone getting irritated with sweet Alli Rogers. This was a superb blog entry.

I hate to fly! Not the flying part, well yes the flying part too, but the whole airport thing just drives me crazy. I am a creature of habit, and when I get out of my routine, forget about it.

How's the Alli Rogers Christmas downloadable CD coming? I play a pretty decent "In the Bleak Midwinter" myself -- a beautiful song.

Kris Hoskinson said...

isn't it just crazy how much smells affect you while you are pregnant? oh, hang in there. i remember way too well the feeling i had often during the 1st trimester as certain things made me sick (just ask the hansens, i lived on their bathroom floor). i'll be thinking of you lots as you get through these last weeks of the 1st trimester and onto days of feeling better! :)

calaismarie said...

oh al, you're a beautiful writer and a beautiful person. i can't wait to see the beautiful MOTHER you will be...

Casey Fabling said...

Alli! It was such a blessing to see you tonight and to talk with you and Kirk. Kirk is such an amazing, encouraging guy (but you knew that), you are both in all our prayers here in Bumpass. =) I honestly cannot tell you how many ways your music blesses me because I am newly blessed every time I hear it, and tonight was an extra special treat! GOD BLESS YOU, KIRK, AND THE BABY!

Zack said...

Hey Alli,

It was great to hear you in Wake Forrest last night (Wake Forrest/Raleigh/Durham/Cary/Apex/Whatever)... actually, I moved here from California and had the same question for years.

...but I'm sure someone talked your ear off about that last night.

I 'discovered' your music when you came to Calvary Chapel of Raleigh a few years back. I married my wife since then, and whenever I play your music, she always enjoys it and sings along and says "Who is this?", so I figured she would enjoy the concert, and she really did!

We sang '8 Hours Later' on the way home and it made me happy to think of heaven.

So thanks for coming! I know there wasn't much of a crowd but we sure enjoyed hearing you!