Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tuesday. It's Tuesday isn't it?

Sometimes, when James goes down for a nap I hear a voice in my head. That voice is the voice of Padama from Top Chef saying “Okay, your hour starts... NOW!”.

And I fumble out of his bedroom and look frantically around the house to find the most pressing thing that needs to be done. More often than not this results in my getting nothing done because I’m so overwhelmed by how much there is to get done. It is not a way to live.

So right now, instead of working on the songs I should be working on, or cleaning my house for the dinner party we’re having tonight, or making a video for the new website, or packing the diaper bag so that when James does wake up I will be ready to go out the door to get an allergy shot, or go to the pet store to get Oso some food because he hasn’t eaten since his half breakfast yesterday when we ran out, instead of those things, I am sitting at my computer writing run on sentences.

Good Morning.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Monday Morning Brain...

It turns out if you drink coffee right after you brush you teeth it tastes like Christmas. It also turns out Nashville is having a bout of beautiful weather in July and lifting everyones spirits. Delightful.

You'll have to forgive me... this morning my brain is about 50 different places and this post might have zero relevance to anyone. But I'll tell you what I'm thinking anyhow.

I’m thinking about the new bible study I just finished with some friends on the book of Ruth, and about how much Ruth would have missed out on had she not gone with her mother-in-law to a foreign land after her husband died. She could have stayed. I’m thinking about how my life would be different had I stayed in Iowa when I had the chance. Did I have the chance?

The other day during a cowrite with my friends Jeff and Charmaine, we got into a theological discussion about pre-destination and abortion and all sorts of hot topics that somehow helped us finish a song about faith and believing through our unbelief. Is it worth asking how and what if and why? Because it generallydoesn’t get me anywhere other than another hour of pondering that I could have been “working” on something. But in fact I do believe pondering time is productive time. For me anyway, according to my Strength Finder test. And it appears that is what I’m doing right now in these 20 minutes I have left before James wakes up.

I read an article this morning about how children are not in touch with nature like they used to be, which got me thinking about all the things there are to be afraid of because I will be scared to let my son wonder off into the woods too, even though I know it’s good for him. Who knows what or who is out in the woods these days? Where is the line between trusting God and being responsible?

Yesterday on NPR’s Splendid Table I listened to an interview with Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivores Dilemma. It was a short but interesting discussion on the organic and local food movement. Got me thinking about how to best spend my money. Do I spend money (that I don’t have) on good quality food I know is better for my family, or is it more responsible for me to buy more affordable, albeit processed, food?

And now... James is awake, which leads me to thinking of a whole other river of baby thoughts. Like, why does sesame street have the monopoly on disposable diaper art?

All of this and more....fuel for songwriting, I tell you. It better be anyway, since it’s all I have right now. :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

International Justice Day

Thanks to my friends, Addison Road, I was made aware that today is International Justice Day. Check out this video made by a great organization called the Mocha Club,

some convicting words from Jesus on Justice:

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel
-Matthew 23:23-24

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
-Luke 18:7-8

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

May It Be Springtime

I have never felt such abundance and such deficeincy simultaneously.

I awake early to James fussing through the monitor. I lean over to see that my phone says 6:28 am. I wait. He is not crying, just fussing. I close my eyes and almost drift back off to sleep. “Ah!” he exclaims in his “I’m awake, come get me!” voice. I smile with my eyes still closed, imagining his little arms trying to wiggle out of his swaddle. “Ah!” he says, louder. Okay...sigh... I’m coming.
Sweet is the season of spring: the long and dreary winter helps us to appreciate its genial warmth, and its promise of summer enhances its present delights.

When I open the door to his room, he immediatly stops fussing and smiles. Oh, his smile. I am ruined.
If we do not hoist the sail when the breeze is favourable, we shall be blameworthy: times of refreshing ought not to pass over us unimproved.

This too shall pass. Not only the hard parts, but the sweetness of these early weeks with James. Soon he won’t want to be held so much, he won’t be so easily soothed by my picking him up and holding him to me. Soon, he’ll be moving around, finding his own little way in the world, and I will think of these days when he was so content just to be in my arms.
When Jesus Himself visits us in tenderness, and entreats us to arise, can we be so base as to refuse His request? He Himself has risen that He may draw us after Him: He now by His Holy Spirit has revived us, that we may, in newness of life, ascend into the heavenlies, and hold communion with Himself.

After he’s done eating, he just stares up at me with those bright blue eyes and we study each others faces. With sounds and smiles, we have a conversation. Sometimes I think James is the closest I will ever get to God. I’m convinced of it, actually.
Land That drinks in the rain often falling on it and produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God.
Hebrews 6:7

Oh James, I have never seen the hours of the night like I have with you. 2 am...4 am...6 am. I have never been a morning person, but sometimes I look forward to hearing that first exclamation out of your mouth when you see the sun coming through your window. Such exhaustion. Such abundance. Every day is a new gift, I’m more and more aware of that truth.
Let our wintry state suffice us for coldness and indifference; when the Lord creates a spring within, let our sap flow with vigour, and our branch blossom with high resolve. O Lord, if it be not spring time in my chilly heart, I pray Thee make it so, for I am heartily weary of living at a distance from Thee.

Excerpts are from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. From the evening of April 24th, the night James was born.